The average enrollment cycle in the Estate Planning arena is 9-18 months. Now, that might sound horrifically long, but it’s the absolute raw truth. And it’s no phenomenon that Estate Planning and Elder Law Attorneys that I talk to across the county are experiencing the same thing in their own practices.
The irony, the coincidence. There’s a saying my initial mentor taught me: “So go the coach, so go the coachee.” The very reason most attorneys struggle with how to guide clients to a decision is because they are unwilling to do so themselves. Which radiates an essence of the following decision making process Over explain … Process …. Deflect … Confuse … Repeat
As an industry, attorneys are incapable of active choice without a tremendous amount of internal (possibly financial) suffering. Call it a tribe of high “Fact Finders™” or law school conditioning to research and analysis until there is no law review, case study or white paper unturned. In my humble opinion, the core of the matter is none of the above. It boils down to 1 word. Permission.
Permission, is letting go of your beliefs or a structure that no longer serves you. It’s walking away from the all or nothing thinking and no longer buying into “the way things are supposed to be.” It’s a willingness to be in a place of uncertainty and move into a place of possibility.
It’s also about honoring ourselves, what we desire from life, and letting go of worry, guilt, and blame. Sometimes permission is about how you are being, and other times permission is about what you are doing. Sometimes permission is so that we can grow, other times it’s so we can let go. Permission is a conscious decision and conversation that takes place in your head — and likely your heart
Permission shows up in our life daily as we are bombarded with choices, decisions, dilemmas and change that require us decide and declare (or not). Most often, we recognize the need for permission when we have a deep need for certainty (evidence) or when we are going against what others are wanting from us. Permission is an internal battle.
We see the need for permission to show up in our life in situations as diverse as deciding on whether or not to attend an event, terminate an employee, leave a marriage, spend your savings and retirement on a new adventure or if you should join a new organization (again), parenting, whether to go home at night, take time off of work. The list goes on and on.
Once you recognize the role permission plays in your life, you’ll see how almost every decision and choice is being driven by this silent control freak. When we can bring awareness to this internal meter of “right, wrong, good, bad, yes or no,” we can move into a place of being able to make the choices that are best for us at the time — without endless research (fear), guilt, shame and the need for certainty.
Well, maybe there will still be a little fear, but fear is a motivator and adaptable: especially when you are operating from a place of permission instead of resistance. At the end of the day giving you permission boils down to putting the oxygen mask on yourself first. And that’s a hard nut for most of us to crack.
The client really wants to make certain they protect their daughter from that good for nothing son in law. But without permission the selfish, judgmental voice speaks in stereo. Many attorneys have been asked by their clients at the end of the vision meeting, “Tell me what to do?” And likewise from attorneys that are about to make an investment in joining LWP.
But I can’t tell them what to do, and even if I did, it wouldn’t relieve them of any pain or uncertainty because they haven’t given themselves permission to decide and declare. They can take my advice but it won’t work because they didn’t come to it on their own. However, if I own my role as a shepherd, guide, coach and unwavering stand to lead them to a place of permission, to allow decision, decision is made. With confidence, peace and maybe even a bit of excitement.
What makes our LWP community unique is we hold our members accountable to their path and plan while providing the infrastructure to achieve it. Our members tell us they are accomplishing their goals, can finally delegate , trust their team to lead, while making more money and feel confident it won’t all break. This isn’t all our members, only the ones whom have given themselves permission. And I feel strongly that is the value proposition you bring to your clients, to declare and commit to a path and plan they believe in.
Molly Hall
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