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Dangerous Productivity

October 20, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Systems & Processes

“In today’s culture – where self-worth is tied to our net worth, and we base our worthiness on our level of productivity – spending time doing purposeless activities is rare. In fact, for many of us it sounds like an anxiety attack waiting to happen. We’ve got to get ’er done! It doesn’t matter if our job is running a multimillion-dollar company, raising a family, creating art, or finishing school; we’ve got to keep our noses to the grindstone and work! Many of us still believe that exhaustion is a status symbol of hard work and sleep is a luxury. The result is that we are so very tired. Dangerously tired. But the truth is, we can’t handle it. We are a nation of exhausted and overstressed adults raising overscheduled children. We think accomplishments and acquisitions will bring joy and meaning, but that pursuit could be the very thing that’s keeping us so tired and afraid to slow down.”

The above passage is the wisdom of Brené Brown, one of, if not the, most highly referenced of today’s writers and researchers. Brené has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame, and her published work is business – and life-altering. I have been studying it for the past three years and working with my business coach on incorporating much of her work into our organization.

Brené calls her syndrome “dangerously tired”; I would like to add “dangerously productive” to that diagnosis. As a follow-through, I am guilty of this. “Just finish up this marketing campaign and then I will close down for the day,” I’ll tell myself. “Muscle through, you can handle it.” “I can catch up on sleep this weekend.” There is a cost for this dangerous productivity. I see it in law firms every day. The challenge is that we trick ourselves that “it’s just this week” when the truth is that this level of muscling through becomes our norm. And if this isn’t our way of being? Then it’s almost worse, because we repeatedly beat ourselves up for not being motivated enough or not working hard enough.

The following exercise Brené rolls out in her book, titled “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are,” was a game changer for me personally. And yes, I will be sharing it with the team this week.

STEP ONE – Create a list of specific conditions that are in place when everything feels good in your life (here’s an example of mine):

Starting my day @ 5:00 a.m. with exercise
Being present for & connecting with kids in a.m. before they head off for school
Dedicated 1 hr. Sunday evenings for my “Rock Star Week” planning
Weekly partner meeting to connect on strategic opportunities vs. operations
A scheduled vacation on the horizon to keep me moving to know there is time carved out for play, rest and connection with my family & friends
Operating from my written Marketing Plan with deadlines for the week
Weekly accountability meeting in place for the beginning and end of the week to hold my feet to the fire to stay focused on my goals

STEP TWO – Create your To-Do List (here is one of mine):

Type up notes from partner meeting
Schedule calls with DH & VC
Follow up emails to MO and RD
Call with AM on L/T webinars
Call w/RD about covering for me while I am in China

STEP THREE – Create your To-Accomplish List (Here is a sample of mine right now):

Automated Enrollment Process in Infusionsoft with triggers and chains for each step of the enrollment process
Meet “100 Days to Year End” goal by December 19,2014
Generate 16 initial contacts per week consistently
Replace myself in Operations by October 1, 2014
PPT up & running and generating $22,500 in revenue by December 19, 2014

The most revolutionary part of this exercise was looking at the pieces that must be in place in order to create and traverse (not muscle through) my rock star week. The other “AH HA” was comparing my To-Do List and my To- Accomplish List. I loathe my To-Do List. It sucks the life out of me. It’s busy work that doesn’t challenge or inspire me. I quickly realized it’s time to delegate my To-Do’s for the week and put my To-Accomplish front and center. I am going to be incorporating this exercise every week in my Sunday planning time and I am going to immediately delegate my To-Do List to allow me to focus on my To-Accomplish List.

Dangerous productivity is not a long-term plan for success, whatever success means for your business. Dangerously productive is so “old school” and has been replaced with intentional laser focus, which in turns eliminates the exhaustion as a status symbol and replaces it with joy and meaning.

Molly L. Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of Don’t Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work with a Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process.

The Perfect Effort Is Not A Fiction

October 1, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Systems & Processes

Fall is on the horizon. This only means one thing: movie theatres are back in the rotation for our potential family outings. Last Monday after school it was an unusually rainy, cold day, so I surprised the kids by picking them up and heading to the movies – one of our favorite, favorite things to do. Our first movie of the new season was “When the Game Stands Tall.” This film is based on the true story of the De La Salle Spartans, a high school football team from northern California. It is a moving plot about a team that didn't lose a game, not one single game, for 12 years from the early '90s to the early 2000s. They ran their record to 151-0. This is not just another movie about football; it tells about a mission to lead boys into manhood and prep them to carry the burdens of the society into which they soon will enter.

The foundation of the movie is Coach Bob Ladouceur’s unique coaching process, which he called “The Perfect Effort.”“Coaching is about human performance and how to get each player to realize their potential through the actualization of their individual talent,” Coach Lad once said. “While winning is important – it is why we play the game and keep score – the emphasis is on ʻthe process,ʼ what each player must do that in aggregate leads to victory. The formula for success in team sports is simple. The implementation of that formula is complex and is the art of human performance.”

“The game stands tall when we display the conduct and actions that not only make our life more productive but also improve our community,” he added movingly.

The Perfect Effort is more about bringing your “A” heart with your “A” game. It is about unwavering perseverance and not being defined by a loss.

Whether it is a football team, an office team, a marketing team, etc., The Perfect Effort process applies wherever you go. The singular success of a 151-0 record was created not because the De La Salle Spartans spent more hours in the gym than any other team. It was not because they fought harder than any other team. The success came from being very clear on what their individual roles were, how to integrate with each member on the team, and the impact of the whole of the process and the team organization – all with integrity and collaboration in mind, never focused on the individual. It was always about The Perfect Effort within the core values of the team first and foremost.

What I love most about movies is how they can deliver powerful messages in 120 minutes that are so relevant to our day-to-day lives. They can break through even if you’ve heard the same messages before, i.e. LWP with our unending stand for embracing of process with a team-centric approach to reaching the goal. Sometimes, most times, it takes a light, fun environment to drive the message across the goal line.

Molly L. Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of Don’t Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work with a Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process.

More Than Your KOLBE

September 24, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Team Building

I’m a Fact Finder, which makes it a sure bet that I’m fascinated by all things KOLBE and how a KOLBE A index can predict levels of success in any given position. As a CC&I Implementation Coach, I review KOLBE scores with teams on a regular basis. I’m always particularly interested (and generally amused) when I have a husband and wife working together and review their KOLBEs.

Occasionally I have a business owner tell me that they’ve had to let a team member go, and in several instances, we’ve found that the team member simply did not live up to the expectations the KOLBE index had indicated.

For example, a Client Services Coordinator with a high Follow Through was found to be trashing prospect contact information because she ran short of time to enter the information into the firm database. Her attorney totally depended upon her Follow Through and her sense of integrity to get the job done.

What does it mean when a team member … or an attorney … doesn’t get the job done?

Unfortunately, I’ve been hearing from a number of frustrated attorneys who went on vacation this summer, only to return and find their team had dropped the ball in their absence.

Just to keep the record straight – I’ve also heard from frustrated team members as well.

It was summer. A time when we’d like to slow down just a bit and stop and smell the roses. Play with the kids while they’re out of school, or feel the need to tackle some of those home improvement projects that went left undone when you were so focused on the business.

The good news is the kids are back in school, summer is over, and it’s time to focus on making up for lost time.

The bad news is that this issue may not just be seasonal.

Enter the Strength Finder.

The Strength Finder is an additional tool that can supplement what the KOLBE tells us. It measures 34 different areas to identify and rank your top strengths. The results can be enlightening and life changing.

For example, I discovered that while my KOLBE Follow Through is not incredibly high, my Strength Finder lists one of my top strengths to be “FIXER.” I am literally driven to “FIX” or complete what is incomplete. My “FIXER” strength boosts my unimpressive KOLBE Follow Through.

The Strength Finder, when coupled with the KOLBE and the Language of Appreciation, provide great insight into talents, strengths, willingness and passions.

You can discover your strengths, free of charge – click here. You can discover your Language of Appreciation, free of charge here. The KOLBE A retails for $49.95 (click here) but a $10 discount is currently offered at http://www.kolbe.com/pages/special-partner/jkw/.

I must warn you that using these tools is no substitute for holding each other accountable in your office. One way to “check in” and be held accountable is through the Weekly Team Meeting. A Weekly Team Meeting, led by the Client Services Coordinator, with an agenda that promotes the accountability of each team member in front of the team, including the attorney, is a way to systematically inspect the moving parts that operate your business. Internally publishing notes with dated assignments is also an accountability tool.

If you would like to schedule a team evaluation using the KOLBE A, Strength Finder and Language of Appreciation, please contact me at ncatale@lawyerswithpurpose.com.

There are still a few days left to register for our Practice With Purpose Program in October. If you want to grow your business with Medicaid, VA & Asset Protection by year end, show up! You can see the full agenda and register here.

Nedra Catale – Coaching, Consulting & Implementation, Lawyers With Purpose

The Initial Contact Focuser

September 10, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Systems & Processes

A few years ago, a federal investigator subpoenaed one of my calendars to prove a local doctor had committed massive insurance fraud. The doctor ultimately lost his license and served prison time, based in large part on my calendar.

About that same time, I received a parking ticket in the mail, and was able through my calendar keeping, to prove that I had been in another city that day many miles away.

Using the Initial Contact Focuser may not help you fight a parking ticket or be used in a federal investigation, but the information it captures cannot be recreated after the fact. The ICF documents the number of prospects who have contacted your firm in any given time period, and perhaps most importantly, documents where those prospects came from. The ICF should guide and measure the results of every marketing decision you make.

When I hear that a law firm is not either using the ICF or capturing this information in some other way, it’s truly difficult for me to understand. That valuable information is forever lost. Putting contact information on a post-it or a phone pad is no way to run a business.

Long-term planning for growth and success can only be successful through systematically capturing, measuring and evaluating information.

A firm that I work closely with recently organized all their ICF information for the prior 12 months and was dismayed to see that a newspaper ad for which they had paid more than $400 per month for more than a year had not generated a single client.

Another firm created lunch & learn opportunities, cooking and paying for lunches at the local senior center for a number of months before reviewing their ICF data, and calculating that the ROI was negligible.

How can you measure the success of any of your professional relationships if the ICF is not carefully maintained?

This sample shows not only the results of professional relationships, but also documents a referral to another law firm.

This tool is available on the LWP members website in both Excel and Word formats and can be found by searching “5 Key.” This information can also be captured through most any database software.

Make reviewing the weekly ICF a part of your weekly team meeting – I promise you won’t regret it. If you need any support please let me know – ncatale@lawyerswithpurpose.com!

If you want to learn more about the systems and tools that Lawyers With Purpose has to offer, please consider joining us in Phoenix, October 22nd – 24th for our Practice With Purpose Program. Click the link to review the agenda and see all that you get in just 2.5 days! Click here to register now.

Nedra Catale – Coaching, Consulting & Implementation, Lawyers With Purpose

It’s Going To Be Really Hard!

September 9, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation

Labor Day weekend is always a “2-minute warning” type of weekend for the Hall family. Like so many other Americans, once the calendar hits the first Tuesday of September, we panic because the clock is running out on the nice weather. This year we headed to the Grand Canyon to camp for three nights. As we hit I-70 westbound, we bantered back and forth about all the fun we were going to have exploring with two other families we were meeting there, with collectively 10 kids in tow.

Saturday, as we hiked the south rim, we consulted with a park ranger on a few different trails we had been pondering for our Sunday hike. This time we were going to hike down the canyon. The ranger coached us on the best hikes to take with kids in the pack. We finally decided on one that would take approximate two hours roundtrip. We were given the caution list of all the things to take into consideration, as this is a “hard” trail.

Early Sunday morning the 14 of us started hiking down the switchback rock bed trail. We met many great people along the way – of all ages and sizes. Because of the repeated warnings of the hike’s difficulty, we started out slow, stopping and checking to make certain everyone was OK. As we waited, we conversed with the folks coming up. Again, many of them warned us it was going to be hard. It wasn’t until about 20 minutes into the hike that it dawned on me why everyone we met expressed how “hard” it was going to be.

Most hikes consist of hiking up a gradual incline, where you can see the summit. You see where you’re headed, how you’re getting there and when the end is in sight. If the hike is too challenging or way out of your comfort zone as you ascend, you can easily turn back, knowing the hike down provides a reprieve. And you can go back to where you started the known.

When you hike the Grand Canyon, on the other hand, you start at the rim and hike down. There are switchbacks every step, since hiking straight down would surely result in death. You cannot see where you’re headed or how you’re getting there, and the end is definitely not in plain sight. The hard part for most people is hiking up, not down. So there is little enjoyment for the hikers who like to know where the finish line is, get through the hard part first and coast through the easy part on the way back. Hiking the Grand Canyon is not the “norm” when it comes to hiking, so people are quick to exclaim how “hard” it’s going to be.

This is interesting, because many people who said “it’s going to be hard” didn’t know that firsthand. They were just projecting either what they were told or were feeling the uncertainty of a unordinary route. The truth of the matter is, the hike itself was NOT hard – it didn’t test the strength or endurance of the adults or even of the 6-year-old we had with us.

As we began to hike back, it got me thinking. (An occupational hazard as a coach.) Where else in our lives do we buy into the story that something is going to be “hard?” The feeling can be especially strong when we aren’t sure where we are headed, how we are getting there or what the journey back will be like if it doesn’t work out. What if I can’t do this?

I witness this daily with phone calls from burnt-out, transitioning attorneys who can’t stand another day in the courtroom but can’t comprehend the unknown path to an alternative. The certainty of their misery is far less painful than how hard it’s going to be to get on a different path where we will guide them through all the uncharted territory. I also see it in the attorney who needs to fire an underperforming, entitled employee who has been there since the firm’s inception. There is no named replacement on the horizon, or any certainty that the revenue will be coming in to support the transition. Same with the receptionist who is so very ready to share her ideas about marketing, and is eager to step up to tackle that role. But what if her vision doesn’t work out? What if the job is too much for her? What if the results don’t come immediately? Marketing people are often the first to get cut when funds get low.

People tell us how hard life and business will be when we share where we are thinking of heading. And we believe it – so we don’t even get on the path. Consider the possibility that “hard” actually means something you’ve never done before that doesn’t have a map with a certain path carefully dotted from beginning to end.

Are you standing at the start of the path feeling oppressed with anxiety and uncertainty, and is that making the change feel like it’s too much work and too hard?

If you're an estate planning attorney and want to learn more about Asset Protection, Medicaid & VA, check out the agenda for our Practice With Purpose Program we're having October 20nd-22nd in Phoenix, Arizona.

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I Have No Clue What She Does All Day

July 30, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Team Building

How many of you have truthfully cried out, “I have no idea what she does all day” about your Director of First Impressions as you juggle client appointments, synergy meetings, internal meetings, document reviews and “emergency” calls with your teenage kids while on summer break? I personally hear this no fewer than 20 times a week from entrepreneurs across the map.

Such unfortunate hallway comments are not meant to be a criticism or judgment about the employee. The intent is not to imply that the employer believes she/he is messing around on Facebook all day. The truth of the matter is that when a business owner has that feeling of “I don’t know what she does all day,” it is indicative of a business that is not operating with an organizational structure that relies on job descriptions with weekly tracking and accountability. It’s actually because the business owner is behind closed doors all day in back-to-back meetings, painfully aware of the insane schedule, with little hope of addressing a growling stomach, an overloaded inbox and pressing family obligations.

If you have that sinking feeling about any of your team members, chances are it is not the person but a training and communication matter. Fortunately, this is a very easy fix. And within 30 days you will know if it is actually a case of wrong person, wrong role and how to course-correct. Your CC & I coach can help you create a path and plan to review the employee’s job description, the CC & I suggested 90-Day Training Plan and how to track and measure for weekly effectiveness, all in one hour. Together, you will also conduct a communication analysis to compare each person on your team’s Kolbe, Strength Finder and Languages of Appreciation to determine how to establish consistent, effective communication to ensure you never have that sinking feeling again.

So, if you’ve found yourself saying, “I have no clue what she does all day,” contact ncatale@lawyerswithpurpose.com to schedule your LWP CC & I member call to support your communications efforts.

If you want to learn more about Lawyers With Purpose and what we have to offer, please join us in Phoenix October 20th – 22nd for our Asset Protection, Medicaid and VA Practice With Purpose Program. Register today, seats fill up fast!

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The Weight Of The World … Or Opportunity?

June 20, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Legal Marketing Team Building

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.” ― Charles R. Swindoll

After being gone from my daily yoga practice for 1 week while in Chicago at the LWP Tri-Annual Retreat I eagerly returned to my 5:45 a.m. Monday morning practice, exhausted after getting on average of 5 hours of sleep a night. As I shuffled into the studio, squawking about how tired I was our teacher began our 102 degree practice with the above quote. Needless to say, my attitude shifted. Quickly, intensely.

The entire class was about how we perceive all the “stuff” that happens to us, day in and day out. It brought me immediately back to and thinking about the 40 national law firms that shut down their practices, team in tow, for 3 solid BUSINESS days, like they do Tri-Annually, to work ON their businesses and lives.

We launch our retreats with personal shares of what has occurred in your practice since the last retreat, 4 months prior. The shares consisted of; losing team, moving offices (while losing team), personal illnesses, family illnesses, losing parents, employee embezzlement, and so on. But the absolute magnificence was there wasn’t a trace of defeat or heaviness in that ballroom. Only recognition and appreciation for the opportunities that were waiting on the other side. Each and every firm truly embodied the attitude of “behind every breakdown is a breakthrough.”

The themes swirling through the room; we are lean and mean, were a team of interdependence versus codependency, less is more, intentional focus, short term suffering, eyes wide open. And firms were sharing they had their best quarter EVER…after going from a team of 7 to 3. Or, going on our 9^th Client Services Coordinator, but that’s o.k., not tolerating anything but superstar status!

The honest, vulnerable sharing about life isn’t always about hugs & cookies but its what you choose to see when it feels like bread and water….for a blink of a moment. Until you can anchor yourself to what you know to be true. When they got over the tragedy of their worlds crashing down they anchored to the skills and tools they need to have a 2mm shift, and recourse. The Money Plan, job descriptions, time templates, whose doing what to reach goal, The Revenue focuser. They knew for those that were having to double up on roles, there were the Tri-Annual Retreat Focus Sessions waiting for them right outside the door on, Marketing, Client Services, What’s Happening Behind the Conference Room Doors, Medicaid and VA Qualification and Application, IPugs vs. LLCs, How to Plan With IRAs, Communication Skills, Power In Partnership, Annual Client Maintenance Program, How To Have An Empowered Team, Getting Financial Advisors To Do Their Homework, Client & Financial Advisory Boards, Becoming 360 – personal development coaching day, your future focuser…and so, so much more. All right at their fingertips. Like a strategically placed safety net. And the coolest part is that every single firm that shared their weight of the worlds/opportunities over the past four months did it all on their own. They hunkered down and regrouped. I have to admit, there was a small part of me that felt irrelevant. Off they go.

What shows up in your world is solely based on your perspective of what is “happening” to you. Do you see the challenges you face as a business owner (and human) like carrying the weight of the world or endless opportunities? It may sound “hokey” but there is no mistake that you open up any periodical, social media application and/or blog and there is a universal shift around “you manifest what you think.” You keep telling yourself that carrying the weight of the world “comes with the territory” you will continue to attract big monster cinder blocks of “troubles” to carry around versus “there is a lesson in this and I am grateful that I am open to discovering it. I need not only make the best of it but make the better of it. What do I need to do first?” See the difference?

The Weight of the World…or opportunity?

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What’s The Difference Between Coaching, Consulting & Implementation

June 16, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation

In a nutshell, Coaching, Consulting & Implementation (CC&I) is the coach drawing information “out” while the consultant puts information “in” and the implementation unites everything into a systemized, bite-sized, one small step-at-a-time achievable path and plan.

Coaching – Coaching is all about unlocking our members’ potential to maximize their own performance. It is about guiding members to a place of self-directed learning rather than teaching. Power in Partnership™ is collaboration between the coach and an individual and/or team that support the achievement of extra-ordinary results. Coaching is about guiding members to set realistic, reachable and quantifiable goals that help a team move forward into action. As coaches, we are companions who walk alongside our members through their explorative journey.
Consulting – Consultants analyze data and advise members of best practices to help them make the best possible choices. Consulting is about teaching and evaluating strategic plans to help members meet their “Money Plan” goals. As consultants, we provide information-based expertise while showing you the “what,” “where,” “when,” “how” and “why” supported by tracking and measurement.
Implementation – Implementation focuses specifically on supporting members through teaching and the implementation of LWP Systems and Processes into their practices. Implementation always anchors back to the LWP tools and demonstrates how the processes intertwine and support each other.

Every journey begins with a destination in mind. Whether your goal is to create an efficient and profitable practice, a purpose-driven practice that has a lasting impact on your community, or a saleable practice that leaves a legacy for your family, CC & I provides controlled growth, increases revenue and creates practice efficiency that helps reduce costs, improve operating margins and creates consistent cash flow.

Regardless of your destination, the CC & I program within Lawyers with Purpose provides members with a guide and a compass to assist with the journey. Allowing lawyers to make a difference with a comprehensive approach of:

Be (Coaching) + Do (Consulting) + Have (Implementation) = A practice with purpose…a Lawyer with Purpose.

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Start Where You Are

June 5, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Systems & Processes Team Building

Sounds pretty obvious, doesn’t it? But how often do we really give ourselves that gift? How often do we stop and tell ourselves, wherever we’re headed, this is where we start? It means being willing to let go of the past. It means resisting the need to race ahead. It means controlling the stories of why we can’t get started.

It may be creating a marketing plan when you only have $500 a month to realistically dedicate to the project. It may be finally firing that employee who “knows everything” when you don’t have the rehire in place. It may be making the unyielding commitment to hardwire five hours into your calendar for marketing when you have to answer the phones, draft trusts and greet clients who arrive 20 minutes early so they can tell you all about their grandbabies.

Sometimes the simplest truths are the most slippery. We convince ourselves that it “isn’t that bad” or that we might be “overreacting” or have “unrelenting standards.” These are all especially true if you lead with responsibility and/or harmony on the strength-finder assessment. But if we simply allow ourselves to start from where we are today, that is often more than enough.

Last week I was working with a firm, and the focus of our Coaching, Consulting & Implementation (CC&I) call was “getting the right people in the right roles.” They had just hired two new people within the past four weeks and had let go of a “lifer” employee. They were trying to train the two new hires for the role of “Legal Assistant,” i.e. “please do it all and take the pain and pressure away.” The attorney went into explaining about how the firm can't do Y until X and when A is up and running they can implement B. I listened intently to the mental download and then started with “I've got all that. But we are here and let’s start from exactly where we are. Because in my experience, the have, do, be method never works out to your advantage. (When we have A, then we can do B so we can be the law firm I have always envisioned.) That's because I have never met a firm that woke up one day and all the missing pieces were finally in place (i.e., people, time and money). We’re going to take a different approach.”

The approach of starting where you are: It allows you to originate from a clean slate so you can get to the root and cultivate a deeper understanding of what you need, right here, right now! It gets to the heart of the matter – which eliminates all opportunities to create a bigger-than-necessary project. The approach of start where you are allows for one small step at a time. This may sound hokey, but this approach allows us to get down and dirty and take a look at our distractions – the things that tend to get between you and your optimal success.

We'll see you next week at the Members Tri Annual Retreat in Chicago and begin working on your next quarter Money Plan (and yes, we'll be starting right where you are). In which areas of your practice do you need to start where you are?

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Compassion Fatigue

May 30, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Team Building

“You have a clean slate every day you wake up. You have a chance every single morning to make that change and be the person you want to be. You just have to decide to do it. Decide today’s the day. Say it; this is going to be my day.” ~ Brendon Burchard 

The emotional, physical and financial needs of our world can be undoubtedly overwhelming. As we become more and more comfortable with the vision, design and signing meetings, we then begin to move fully into and embrace the counseling side of serving in the estate and elder law industry. With this comes the journey of compassion:

We will feel for people in pain – even people we don’t know personally.
We will want people to be encouraged and hopeful – even people we don’t know personally.
We will seek to help people practically – even people we don’t know personally.

Beyond the "conference room," you will begin to find that you are naturally feeling this and wanting to do it. Once you gain knowledge in the tools, competency in the legal technical and confidence in your team, you will begin to lead and guide from a place of compassion. And this is how you attract people to your office, without even trying. Your ability to actively listen and solve problems is utterly absent from your competition. And everyone sees it. So your calendar begins to fill up with potential money appointments: Initial contacts increase (yay!), vision meetings increase (yay x2!), your hire rate increases (yay x3!).

But if there is not time in your calendar to “empty your backpack” of all compassion – stories, grief, troubles and struggles that you get to solve all day (not to mention the employees waiting at your door in-between all these fantastic meetings) – you will be burdened. Imagine a backpack filled with the heaviest cinderblocks you can imagine. At some point, you have to put the backpack down or else you’ll break your back. That's compassion fatigue.

In an unrelenting world of constant giving and solving, filled with back-to-back appointments and very little breathing space, it eventually becomes impossible to “muscle through” week in and week out. Then we start to see our initial/vision and hire rates decrease because that bountiful compassion has turned into resentment and frustration. And we might tell ourselves, “The lucky streak has ended,” but as humans we are just not conditioned to continue at that pace without operating at a deficit.

We have to refill our tireless giving “compassion account.” When your reserves are in deficit, you can’t truly give. Here are some quick suggestions for how to refuel your compassion account, “empty your backpack” and let go of all the emotional stuff you picked up throughout the day. This should take no more than five minutes at the end of each day to allow you to hit the ground running the next day with a full account:

Get a journal or notebook and keep it at your bedside.
At the end of your day, download all the stories you picked up from the day: prospective clients, existing clients, referral sources, client complaints, employee issues, even whatever may have hit you personally at home, because all compassion and heartache are created equal.
Jot down the NAME (Smith case, Sally the receptionist, my son Timmy.)
What the story/situation was. Keep it simple and don’t make it into a dissertation. Just brain dump the emotionality of what occurred. This part is important: Connect and dump the emotional compassion that occurred in order for you to truly unload the backpack.
What did you provide in regards to coaching, conflict resolution, counseling, etc. to provide value? It is equally important for you to get the WIN in it, to know you were part of holding a safe space for X to have a breakthrough in that moment with the resources you had.
Then detach and let it go, and write down, “My job is not to rescue. My expertise in helping X was more than enough for today. I am not responsible for the circumstance, only for coaching the person. This is no longer mine to carry.”
Celebrate the victories and share them with the team. Acknowledge what you have done as a huge accomplishment. Give yourself kudos – don’t minimize what you’ve done.
Pretend you’re a duck! When you are in a leadership role – and you are as an entrepreneur and intrapreneur – you will take hits. You've got to let them roll off your skin, just like a duck lets water roll off its feathers. Work this muscle until you see the results.
Build “pause” time in your calendar to reframe yourself between appointments. Use that time to do something for yourself, to make deposits into your compassion account. Doing this will allow you to always “show up” genuine and prepared, with your clients feeling heard and you feeling confident.

You will begin to notice how much compassion was actually turning to clenching for your clients, which is a circumstance that creates undue pressure on us to “deliver.” Yes, you have to deliver on your promises (planning, etc.), but when the delivery becomes all about the person's circumstance vs. about the person, which we all do day in and day out, that blocks the unpacking of the backpack to eliminate the compassion fatigue.

If your interested in joining us in Chicago, book your flights now! There are still just a few seats left so register today and be in the room to experience what the Practice With Purpose Program is about and what we have to offer.