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We received the following email this week:

“I have a question.  Is it wrong of me to want to scale down instead of up in my employment?  I don't think I want to work full-time right now.  I'd like to start out part-time and then perhaps go full-time.  I want some time to work on myself and my family but not working is not an option. I'd probably go stir crazy after a while of not working. I need to work. But I need to balance family time as well.

It's confession time:

1.  I want time for myself.  (Selfish, I know.)  But even when I'm not at work I'm worried about work.  Can't seem to separate the two.  Mostly because I feel like I owe it to my job to worry about it like it’s part of my family.

2.  I need to come up with and implement ways to cook healthy, exercise and get the kids doing the same thing.  How do I do that when I don't have the time?  I think I need time management courses. 

3.  Sarah isn't doing very well in school.  I want to help her but from 6 – 10 I'm catching up on laundry, doing dishes, putting away everyone’s mess that they leave lying around. 

4.  I want to save money. Can't save money we are not making and if we are making the money we aren't saving it.  urrrrgghhh!!!

I tried to talk with my boss about going part-time; he has given me only two options:  Quit or stay.  I quit because he advised that he would not be giving me a raise; as well he told me that if I had to look for other work he would understand.”

How many of us can relate to some variation on this theme? We hear countless versions of the above situation from the employee and employer alike.  The clash between the “either / or” mentality versus those trying to think in terms of “and” is unfortunately commonplace. The boss won’t clarify: Is the issue that he can’t afford to go without the man(woman)power? Or is he struggling to decide whether she is valuable enough for him to reconfigure her job so it provides the work/life balance a mother needs? The crime is, she quit. And he let her. And the irony is, he still hasn’t replaced her because naturally he doesn’t have the time to slog through the hiring process. And the heartbreaking piece is, it didn’t need to end that way.

Without the Honest While Respectful Conversations™, unnecessary suffering is inevitable.

When people work together as a performance-driven team that considers unconventional passages of action while making decisions together — they learn to operate from a place of value when struggles rise.  The process of working together as a team helps create leaders who foster a safe, approachable environment, an atmosphere of possibility and growth. And that place, in turn, produces the defining moments that uplevel the whole game.

So I would argue that the question that sparked the demise of a team, a great team, wasn’t “Is it wrong of me to want to scale down instead of up in my employment?” If a safe place of possibility was present, the question really could have been turned into a win/win along the lines of “How can we create a role where I support the firm in reaching its goals, while allowing me to create a work/life balance?”

Molly L. Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of Don’t Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work with a Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process.

It is amazing to me how fast time goes by. I just returned from a business coaching program I have attended for the past 12 years that requires me to get out of my office one day per quarter. During my coaching day I meet with like-minded entrepreneurs who focus on their future success with one of the world's most noted coaches, Dan Sullivan. It does not take long before we are quickly invigorated and our minds are being reshaped and refocused.

What amazes me each time I attend is how quickly the prior three months had gone by. What also amazes me is how much I accomplished in the previous quarter. (In preparation for each program you analyze the last quarter and identify the progress you've made.) Interestingly, most of the entrepreneurs I attend with agree that we really don't look much at our notes during the quarter but, nonetheless, the goals that we set three months ago have all been achieved. And we figured out why: The key to working on your business is that it must be integrated into your work life.

I go to these quarterly one-day events to refocus myself and my business. The events are refined in a monthly planning meeting that I do each week.

Each Friday morning I begin the first hour and a half of my day planning (proactively) all of the projects, past, and to-do's in my world. The to-do's are simple things that are 30 minutes or less that require me to involve other people to move forward. The past are things that require me for more than 30 minutes, but are a single-focused event, such as building a presentation or preparing information for tax returns. Finally, my planning focuses on my "projects." Projects are the bigger things, like building a website or creating a marketing plan to show value to industry X. Projects take a series of tasks and to-do's to accomplish. Each Friday as I utilize these tools (essential to any successful entrepreneur) I outline my project to-do's from a future perspective, which is what I need to be doing to progress toward my goal. The heart of this weekly planning in my quarterly one-day retreat where I set my goals and objectives at a very high level and a path moving forward. My weekly meeting on the first Friday of each month I focus on the monthly goals (just one extra tool I utilize in that individual planning session) and then also use the weekly planning focuser and the daily planning focuser.

I've always said running a marathon is about 46,000 strides and you can't get there unless you take every stride and you can't take shortcuts. It's simply doing one thing consistently over and over that wins the race. The same is true with your future; it's all based on taking the time to plot your course, and then planning it on a regular basis. Hey, time's going by anyway during the last three months (and the next three). The only difference is whether you're doing it by default (reactive) or by design (proactive). So when are you working on your business?

David J. Zumpano, Esq, CPA, Co-founder Lawyers With Purpose, Founder and Senior Partner of Estate Planning Law Center.

There’s a saying in the entrepreneurial world, “Business would be great but for the employees.” And there’s a saying in the employee world, “Business would be great but for the clients.” No fewer than five times a week, I receive some version of an SOS email or phone message that contains some version of: “I really need your help with ___ please call me back ASAP.” Upon receiving, I typically reply with a message offering available times to talk. Then nada, no response. I used to begin to worry that there was some mysterious van circling the U.S., capturing our members and holding them hostage somewhere in the depths of an attorney prison camp.

When we finally “found the time” to connect, I would get a wonderful response along the lines of, “Oh, it really wasn’t what I thought.” It is fascinating how quickly a crisis handsprings to a non-crisis in a matter of hours. Did the caller summon magic powers to make the crisis disappear, like Houdini? Or was a quick meeting called with all involved parties, all issues identified, proposed solutions discussed and agreed upon? Or was this no longer a big deal due to lack of time to address or solve it? Or was it the act of giving up caring, out of sheer exhaustion? “It wasn’t that big of an issue” is the customary response when we finally have the opportunity to connect.

In my experience, the issue that finally prompts the SOS message typically has been occurring for some time, but the crisis deflates over the period of even one hour because the solution begins to look like “too much work.” And the emotional energy level invested in solving the crisis tends to dissipates.

Crisis, hiccups, conflict and misunderstandings are inevitable. That goes for clients, employees, bosses — any person, place or thing that requires your emotional involvement. The best approach is to eliminate crisis in the first place. Non-Crisis Planning = Time and Attention.

Molly L. Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of Don’t Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work with a Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process.

Clayton James Sechler was born on Friday morning. He weighed in at 7 lbs 2 oz. Baby and Mom are doing great. Congratulations Tim Sechler!

I start every workday with a steaming cup of black coffee, which as of today has become hot water with lemon (my baby step), while I fire up my computer for 30 minutes of checking email before beginning a full schedule of CC&I calls. As the emails file in I fanatically search for the one from the Uplevel You Blog. Because Christine Kane is an absolute change agent, a trail blazer. She is a beacon for folks to live a life of joy and ease WHILE permitting themselves to make the money they want. Really, really want. And are worthy of.

I could go on and on. But I think this blog is so synergistic with what the LWP CC&I program preaches. A motto we live our life by is one small step at a time. Baby steps. Just check out her blog and enjoy!

Molly L. Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of Don’t Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work with a Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process.

What is the greatest success you’ve had since joining LWP?

It really is the mere fact that I have been able to transition my busy family law/divorce practice to estate planning and elder law.  I wouldn't have been able to do it without the systems and tools that LWP provides – as any litigation lawyer knows, you spend most of your days dodging bullets.  Having the systems and tools allowed me to put one foot in front of the other while continuing to dodge the bullets, and do it successfully.  Although I haven't transitioned absolutely completely, I'd say I'm more than 90% there – and that, to me, is a huge success.

What is your favorite LWP tool?

For me, it is the workshop.  I find that using the workshop as part of our process, and not just as a "sometimes-marketing" tool, creates a more receptive client to the type of planning that we do, and the results are higher fees.  The potential client that comes in from a workshop (a Vision client) is a vastly different potential client that comes in compared to an initial meeting client.  They have already decided they probably like me, at least enough to come spend another hour with me, and they are also acutely aware that what they thought about estate planning is probably not correct, so when we "go there" they aren't skeptical about what I'm saying.  This enables me to have a productive conversation with the client instead of having to teach them from the beginning. We also have great feedback from professionals that attend, which creates a buzz in our community – worth its weight in gold.

How has being part of LWP impacted your team and your practice?

I wouldn't have the team or the practice I have today without LWP.  This process has literally completely revolutionized the way I practice law.  Furthermore, I haven't felt the need to compromise on my fees even though I'm relatively "new" to this practice area, because I know that I am providing a much higher level of service than other attorneys are.  People that we have identified as "our" clients willingly pay our fees.  My team and I enjoy coming to work and enjoy the challenges presented to us, instead of dreading what each day is going to throw at us.

The Improved Pension for Wartime Veterans has always been the step-child of the Veterans Administration. Veterans are people who served in the United States military for a period of time and who received a discharge greater than dishonorable. Those who have been injured in the military or due to their military service may receive a tax free income called “compensation” to financially compensate them for the loss due to the injury. Wartime Veterans are those individuals who served in the military during a certain period of time, as set by Congress, regardless of whether they were injured or not. Wartime Veterans may receive a tax free income called Improved Pension as long as they are disabled (or aged 65 or older) and meet low income and asset rules.

On April 19, 2013, VA Secretary, Eric Shinseki, announced that the Veterans Administration is “implementing an aggressive plan to eliminate the backlog in 2015” of compensation claims. The VA will immediately begin an initiative to expedite compensation claims decisions that have been pending for over a year. The current average time for a compensation claim to be decided is 286 days (9.5 months).

NO SUCH INITIATIVE FOR THE IMPROVED PENSION WITH AID AND ATTENDANCE BENEFIT: The VA has made no such promise, nor created any specific initiative for Improved Pension claims. The majority of claims for Improved pension are from WWII and Korean War Veterans (or their widows) who are frail and elderly and need the aid and attendance of another person with their activities of daily. They are receiving, or in need of receiving, home health care, assisted living care, or nursing home care. Their life expectancies are short due to age and illness. The average claim award is also around nine months. However, many of these claimants die while waiting for the VA’s decision. If single, the claim dies with the claimant, thus, no award in many cases.

In its announcement, the VA asserted it will continue to prioritize claims for homeless Veterans, those with financial hardship, terminally ill, former Prisoners of War or Medal of Honor recipients, and Veterans filing fully developed claims.

Thus, for claimants filing for Improved Pension with Aid and Attendance, the way to have the claim prioritized is to ensure that the claimant files a fully developed claim on VA Form 21-527EZ (or VA Form 21-534EZ for widows of veterans). Moreover, if the claimant has a terminal illness, provide a copy of a physician’s statement and any other relevant documentation from a hospice or palliative care provider affirming the terminal illness.

When a fully developed claim is filed, an award should be expected within three months. It is the VA’s desire that all claims be processed pursuant to the fully developed claim standards. However, unless the VA increases its awareness, focus, and resources to help adjudicate improved pension claims, only compensation claims will be expedited and wartime claimants seeking pension will still only experience delays in receiving their awards and benefits.

Victoria L. Collier, Certified Elder Law Attorney, Fellow of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of 47 Secret Veterans’ Benefits for Seniors…Benefits You Have Earned but Don’t Know About.

I was fortunate enough to spend the weekend in Atlanta attending the NCAA Final Four and National Basketball Championship Game. So many lessons to be learned by such an intense weekend, but the one that stands out most was of my wonderful buddy who went with my son and I.

The day before arriving in Atlanta, he decided to begin the weekend with a 5K race. So early Saturday morning we got up and cheered him on at the finish line. He succeeded; imagine that, quick decision, not a lot of preparation, and he was able to complete the 5K in around 30 minutes!

But what’s the rest of the story? Well for the next two days he was in such pain he could hardly walk. His muscles would give out every so often and given that my pedometer said we walked over ten miles on Saturday – it was an absolute challenge for him. So what’s the moral of the story?

Preparation. Many of us (especially us quick starts) are quick to make decisions in the moment that sounds good. We may even prevail, as my buddy did. But the question is, at what cost? How could this have played out differently? Same is true with running a law practice. So many people, as Michael Gerber says, have the entrepreneurial seizure and go start a practice or have some bright marketing idea to try. Many times, we accomplish what we set out to, but like my friend sometimes it is at a painful cost.

To have a successful law practice takes preparation. It takes diligence and a structure that you build up to, just like preparing to run a race. The three key elements are:

– Understanding the legal technical;
– Understanding marketing from a wholesale, retail, and branding perspective; and
– Having the proper infrastructure to help you monitor your current reality on a daily basis and get the work done timely and competently.

That’s what’s enabled me to thrive in my practice for the last 20 years and that’s what has enabled over 1,000 of those that I’ve worked with to succeed as well.

So are you off for a quick run? Or are you ready to begin the preparation so that when you’re done with your run (or bright idea), the consequences are minimal and the rewards are great?

David J. Zumpano, CPA/Esq., Co-founder Lawyers With Purpose, Founder of MPS, Founder and Senior Partner of Estate Planning Law Center

Last week I led a monthly implementation session with a firm that I have been coaching for a few years now. The attorney was not on the call (home with a sick child) but it ended up being a GREAT call with the team. The topic was on how to handle the consistent “interruption of calls”. This is something that this particular firm has been struggling with for 6 months now. And not uncommon from most other firms out there. There’s a saying amongst team, “business would be great, but for the clients.”

A few minutes into the call I had to stop the team: “Time out, walk me through the process of how you route calls.” I had to reel the team back in. They were all talking over one another and throwing words around like “system” and “steps.”  They were speaking into a huge amount of right/wrong – who said it should be done this way versus that way – what the receptionist is doing (and not doing). 

What I loved so much about this implementation session is how easily a neutral, unattached party can simply anchor a group of committed teammates back to the process, after listening to them and keeping the reasoning to SERVING THE CLIENT. But the group lost sight of that, they were so focused on what the system said, what this teleconference said, at last year’s retreat someone at lunch said, etc. All the while, the clients weren’t feeling heard and acknowledged because each person was so committed to “the way.”

The role of a “coach” is to actively listen for the things not really being said while holding the space to lead the group back to the tools available to support them in implementing the breakthroughs achieved during the call – versus cramming systems to end the very, very necessary healthy debates. That is where the promised lands lay, in the healthy debate. The role of a coach is not to provide immediate solutions to end the turmoil.  Systems are a phenomenal support mechanism – but only when the facilitator seeks first to understand. 

Often on our CCI calls we hear the confusion between “Molly said, Dave said, so and so said”.  The beauty of the CCI program is we are all going to have slightly different viewpoints on the minor details we find firms hung up on – because there isn’t one right answer, especially on such minor things like they were stuck on – should I take a message and hand it to Mickey, or should I have the receptionist better screen the call or should I take the info down and hand it to Mickey.

At the end of the day; declare a way you’re going to try on, test it, meet again in 30 days and make necessary refinements if needed. But until you decide to put an end to the “he said/she said”, that will always be a roadblock and quite frankly an excuse for not getting started. In all honesty, if your team leader commits to trying one standard approach that you will track and discuss in your weekly team meetings, you cannot mess it up. That is the birthplace of a system.

Molly L. Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of Don’t Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work with a Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process.

I was thrilled last Thursday when my team, the Syracuse Orange, handed Indiana, the No. 1 seed in the Eastern Bracket, a defining loss. What I didn't expect was what occurred next. On Friday when I got home from work, my son said, "Dad, is there any chance we can go down to Washington, D.C. to see Syracuse play in the Elite 8 game?" Being that D.C. was only a six-hour drive, I did my due diligence, got tickets, and planned for a drive down and back the same day. What I didn't expect was when I went to pick up my tickets; the company I bought them from upgraded me to the front row! So there I was in the first row of the stadium right behind the Marquette team. The only downside, of course, as an SU fan, but anyone who saw the game knows it was an SU crowd anyway.

I was amazed at the physicality of basketball. Being that close to the action just less than 10 feet away from the court and hearing the grunts and seeing the physical pushing, shoving, etc., I was amazed. As a former football player and wrestler, I always attributed basketball to be a finesses sport. I learned different.

Needless to say, my orange again prevailed and progressed to the Final Four, at which point my son again said, "Dad, do you think we can go to Atlanta?" Well, without further ado, I'll be there, heading to Atlanta to the Final Four and the championship game. Look for me. I'll be waving and wearing my orange. Go SU!

David J. Zumpano, Co-founder of Lawyers With Purpose