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Power Of The Pause

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Whether it's the dark and cold rolling in or the approaching of turkey day, this time of year always tends to slow people down as we come to the busiest time of the year. Blogs and social posts are consumed with gratitude this time of year, with their 30-day gratitude challenges and themes of Thanksgiving. At LWP we are joyfully hopping on the bandwagon. In preparation for our customary Thanksgiving blog, I started thinking about what I am most grateful for, and it came to me as powerfully as a Tibetan bell at 5:45 a.m. on the way to yoga.

For me, all roads to abundance that I have created in my life stem from the power of the pause, i.e. self-care. And that, for me, is my daily yoga practice. It really got me thinking about all the things I am so deeply, deeply grateful for in my life.

To name a few:

  1. My unconditionally loving family.
  2. Laney and all our accomplishments, including publishing a book and starting on the path of writing our second book, a follow-up to "Don’t Be a Yes Chick!"
  3. Dave and Victoria and the remarkable partnership that allows each of us to not only be the best version of ourselves but also to make an enormous impact on so many lives.
  4. All the deep friendships I have in this life, each of which is nothing short of truly authentic.
  5. The amazing LWP team and the unified mission we are all on, ensuring that work often doesn’t feel like work.

But to be completely honest, none of these gifts would be as rich or deeply fulfilling for any of the beneficiaries without my intentional prep work, daily. My unwavering commitment to make self-care a priority allows me to intentionally fuel my mind, body and heart by committing to my daily yoga practice. It’s really easy to trick ourselves into thinking that this can be selfish or that those 90 minutes a day could instead be quality “productive” time, be it catching up on strategic work, making calls, spending time with the kids, investing in future growth projects, etc. But the brutal truth of the matter is, if I DON’T invest in me first, in my daily creed, everybody else loses because I am not fully present and my fuse is short. Come Friday I am running on fumes, and by the time I leave work physically, there is very little left of me to give to my family over the weekend if I don't take the time to pause and put on my oxygen mask during the week.

At the end of the day, if I get really quiet and list that for which I am most grateful, it’s my daily yoga practice. Anchoring to this reminds me that it is not a luxury “if time permits,” it’s the most important ingredient that allows me to keep gratitude, connection, patience, focus, authentic relationships and an enormous level of joy in my life consistently, well after the holiday blogs, parties, cards and gifts stop. And everybody wins. That is the beauty of gratitude – it's not really all about us having appreciation. For me it is the necessity to be able to give, receive and make a lasting impact.

Molly L. Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of Don’t Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work with a Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process.

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Thanksgiving Gratitude

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Two years ago on Veterans Day, I moved into my new house, designed and built just the way I wanted. I had never before hosted Thanksgiving at my house. When I was growing up in Houston, that was my mother’s joy – hosting the big feast. Since my sister lives in Georgia, to where my entire immediate family gravitated, she assumed the role. Until 2011. My boxes were not even unpacked (just stored out of sight). But, I was finally in my new house with my 1-year-old twins and spouse, and I wanted to show off my turkey!

This year my sister’s daughter has a new house and a 2-year-old child, and she wants to be the star of the show. She and my sister are having turf wars. I am staying out of it.

I am thankful for the opportunity and ability to be in Myrtle Beach for the entire week, spending a quiet week with my family, good books and good sleep. While I could list all the things for which I am thankful, I will spare you my personal details. Instead, I would rather share something you might find useful in the event you grow tired of football and pumpkin pie.

In addition to taking long walks on the beach, chasing my 3-year-olds and picking up shells, I will be spending the week reviewing what worked well in my life over the past one to three years, what didn’t turn out as I had planned and how I would like to see and create the next three years. It is when the mind and body are at rest that these insights can surface. It is when we are feeling thankful for what we have that we can clearly identify and receive more of what we desire.

What do you desire? How will you spend Thanksgiving? I would love for you to share what you are most thankful for or how you plan to spend your time.

Victoria L. Collier is a Veteran and Certified Elder Law Attorney, Fellow of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, Co-Founder of Lawyers With Purpose LLC, and author of “47 Secret Veterans’ Benefits for Seniors—Benefits You Have Earned … but Don’t Know About.”

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It’s Never Enough

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When I hear, “Thank you for your service,” I appreciate those who express it, but I also feel that the six years on active duty during Desert Storm and three years in the reserves during Iraq were not enough. I served, but I was not involved in combat. Nevertheless, I am still a veteran! My service made a difference to our nation. Still, I don’t feel I gave as much as our heroes of WWII, Korea and Vietnam, or the service members still involved today.

Although “Thank You” feels like an inadequate expression of gratitude, I am extremely thankful for the unyielding commitment and sacrifices that our Veterans have made. Sacrificing life, family, education, employment and more.

As people age, how they live their lives becomes increasingly important to ensure a true quality of life. Becoming physically or cognitively disabled and relying on others is difficult for everyone, but especially so for those who were strong, independent and brave enough to face battles of other kinds. Because people do not enjoy asking for help, often that transcends into also neglecting to seek available resources.

Veterans do not know what benefits are available for them. As an elder care attorney, I have the benefit of helping WWII and Korean war veterans and their widowed spouses every day with estate planning and long term care planning. The biggest concern is how to pay for long term care. The Veterans Administration has a program, Improved Pension (with Aid and Attendance) that pays up to $2,054 of tax free income to help pay for home health care, assisted living care and nursing home care.

Having access to this benefit is life-changing and life-saving. But, not if no one knows about it. Thus, as a Veteran and an Elder Care Attorney, I have made it my mission to get the word out and ensure there are competent lawyers to help Veterans. To further the mission, I founded Lawyers for Wartime Veterans to help lawyers help Veterans.

Through Lawyers for Wartime Veterans, and as an elder care attorney, I feel I am serving my country now more than ever before – by helping one veteran at a time through a nation of competent lawyers.

Happy Veterans Day! Know that we are thankful for you and here to support you.

Victoria L. Collier is a Veteran and Certified Elder Law Attorney, Fellow of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, Co-Founder of Lawyers With Purpose LLC, and author of “47 Secret Veterans’ Benefits for Seniors—Benefits You Have Earned … but Don’t Know About.”

The team at Lawyers With Purpose would like to thank Victoria for serving our country and contributing so very much to our membership. To learn more about Victoria please visit www.lawyerwforwartimeveterans.com

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Start With Heart

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The daily water cooler chatter at LWP headquarters consists of strategizing the latest challenges attorneys face each day. The incessant struggles; lead generation, lead conversion and retention. Conversations on how to support our members in creating consistent, dependable money in the bank at the end of the week. So when it came time to start planning the lineup for the LWP 7th Annual Practice Enhancement Retreat, WHAT to talk about was not the issue. We were actually torn about which topics to cut.

Together, our CC & I team, mentor coaches and lead team all hunkered down and went way back to step one in The Client Centered Estate Planning Process, The Workshop. And like every first meeting, every workshop starts with the attorney introduction. These usually consist of stuffy biographies with lack of personality and connection, classically from the head vs. heart perspective. So when the committee met around who the keynote speaker candidates were, I immediately went to that snowy day in Denver and the impact National NLP Trainer George Ira Carroll had on me during “The Art of Storytelling” workshop back in March 2012. The event was life-altering. It hit me during that retreat planning meeting, this is exact what was missing from the attorney introductions. They weren’t coming across as real, relatable, approachable, truly caring and trusting. Are these not the very core reasons why we hire someone? For ANYTHING?

On day one of the retreat, George opened by sharing his personal purpose story. WOW. You could hear a pin drop in the room. There wasn’t one of the 150 people in the room not on the edge of their seats with an instant connected heart with direct connection and instantaneous trust. Every single person could relate to some element of George’s story. And the whole experience lasted for 8 minutes. That’s it, 8 minutes to give an intentional, purposeful, heartfelt intro. Most attorneys make their first impression from their head; in that ballroom last Wednesday, we learned to start with the heart, which is especially important in this industry.

Baby boomers, the ideal clients of estate and elder law attorneys, walk into their workshop scared, non-trusting, guarded and usually burned by some other “expert” who was going to make their 2 a.m. “wake up and worry time” go away. So imagine a workshop where you walk in and hear something different. It’s vulnerable. It’s heartfelt. It’s breaking down the barriers of a big bad intimidating attorney in the front of the room -all within the first 8 minutes. Did you ever hear the expression, “You had me at Hello?”

And the cool part of the life-altering work is that we now have 150 humans, team and attorney alike, who are connecting, relating and uniting with their communities in a more authentic manner that makes a difference for everyone involved. It makes each of us richer. In every way.

I am very much looking forward to the water cooler chatter at LWP headquarters in November and December as we approach closing the year. Something tells me the struggles are going to look a little different-like how do we keep up with all the work?

Molly L. Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of Don’t Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work with a Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process.

Your Legal Hour – November 4, 2013

Welcome to Your Legal Hour! Please be sure to scroll down below the video to access the handouts for this week's session.

Questions about the materials presented? Contact us at info@lawyerswithpurpose.com

This Week's Supporting Materials

Materials from Prior Sessions

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How To Connect With Clients? Let Them In.

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When I was three years old, I was so shy I hid behind my father’s leg and wouldn’t speak to anyone. This seems unbelievable today, since I do so much public speaking and really enjoy being on stage. But when I was three, my mother left me to my brother and father. In the 1970s it was unusual for the father to be the custodial parent, but he had little choice - my mother committed suicide.

This trauma in my life has led to many successes and failures. As a lifetime learner, I attend quite a few conferences each year. If I get one kernel of knowledge to take back to the office with me, I am usually satisfied. This year’s Lawyers with Purpose annual retreat filled my briefcase with a lot of chewable popcorn ideas!

The one I’d like to share with you is simple - Tell your story and connect with prospective clients. Were you drawn in by my story? Did you want to know more?

Clients hire people they like. They assume you have the credentials and legal knowledge. Many times I sit down with clients who have been honest enough to say they have met with another lawyer but it just didn’t “click.” What didn’t click? Their personality. Clients are looking for someone with whom they feel comfortable. The only way to really do that is to be yourself and share yourself with them – your personal self.

In my conference room I have pictures of my three-year-old twins, who are adorable. I can almost guarantee my prospective clients will comment on the pictures. I take that moment to really share a personal aspect of my life and connect with the client. It can then lead to a conversation about their grandchildren, with whom they are naturally very fond.

Understand that your vulnerabilities (struggles you have had, pain you have experienced) can be an asset in developing strong relationships with your clients. I share with my clients on my website, in my workshops and during initial meetings that I moved out of my parent’s house when I was 17 years old, still in high school and without any money. After a year and a half of going nowhere, I enlisted in the Air Force. This tells them that I was not born with a silver spoon and that I am “like them.”

What is your story? How can you connect with your prospects? What vulnerabilities are you willing to share?

If you are not used to this, try something small at first. If a client travels, share where you have traveled. If a client’s spouse has a health concern, share if one of your family members had a similar health issue and how you dealt with it. Then build on that and incorporate your story into your marketing messages and conversations.

Immediately notice the connections. Immediately notice the increase in conversation rates. Immediately notice that you have helped someone else by sharing yourself.

If you are currently not a Lawyers With Purpose member and would like to learn more about what we have to offer, please spend some time with us on November 19th at 5:00 EST. We are offering a one hour live webinar where we will share:

  • Why clients don’t care how much you know and what they want from you.
  • There’s no such thing as crisis Medicaid planning and the preplanning you are missing out on is right in front of you.
  • The key features and provisions of grantor, non-grantor, and pure grantor trusts and when to utilize each for asset protection, Medicaid and VA planning.
  • The newest forms and procedures to file VA apps and appeals and receive timely decisions.
  • Why annuities are often the “lazy-attorney” approach to Medicaid planning and what it fails to consider.
  • How to calculate if an IRA should be liquidated and when not to use personal service contracts when Medicaid planning.

Register now by clicking here : https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/308773030

Victoria L. Collier is a Veteran and Certified Elder Law Attorney, Fellow of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, Co-Founder of Lawyers With Purpose LLC, and author of “47 Secret Veterans’ Benefits for Seniors—Benefits You Have Earned … but Don’t Know About.

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November Member Of The Month – Michele Ungvarsky

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What is the greatest success you’ve had since joining LWP?

I have been able to come up to speed and confidently prepare multifaceted estate plans for clients with only rudimentary prior experience.

What is your favorite LWP tool?

The entire program is excellent but if I have to pick one thing it would be the software, it allows customization for every person who walks through my door.

How has being part of LWP impacted your team and your practice?

It is a complete system we dropped into and with very little training time we were running like old pros. We still have some tweaks to make but it has not been as painful as I expected to learn an entirely new area of law practice.

Pictured from left to right Jacqueline Amador, Michele Ungvarsky and Aurelia Maxey.

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Within Inches Of Success

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How do you know whether you are traveling down the wrong road and need to turn around, or are within inches of success and need to keep going?

The closest Krispy Kreme to my house and office is approximately 15 minutes away without traffic, and I wanted fresh, hot donuts before work. With rush-hour traffic heading into Atlanta, the travel time is no less than 30 minutes one way. I only live two miles from my office. Therefore, I was making a deliberate choice to spend at least an hour in traffic for a donut.

I knew the route, but I have no geographical sense. After I passed a Dunkin’ Donuts, which I did not want, and had not yet seen Krispy Kreme, I began to doubt myself. Had I gone too far? Did I miss it? Should I turn around? In a split second I did a very unsafe u-turn. While driving, I looked up the address of the Krispy Kreme on my iPhone and input it into my GPS, which prompted me to do another u-turn.

Upon reaching the point of my first u-turn, I could see that the Krispy Kreme was less than a block away – visible from where I actually turned around. I did not see it previously because I was so frantic about whether I had gone too far, and about “wasting” any more of my precious time. Whereas, in reality, doubting myself took me even longer to obtain my goal.

So, how do you know when to keep going or to turn around? Unless you have a crystal ball, you don’t. But, you can assess the situation to make a sound decision. Ask yourself these five questions:

  1. How badly do you want to achieve the goal? How important is the goal to you?

    — If it is your life dream, you may want to keep going regardless of all factors. But if it is just another “interest,” then you may want to cut your losses and focus on more productive interests. In this case, I REALLY wanted a donut!

  2. How much time and effort have you already invested, and how much more are you willing to invest, even if all efforts have ended in failure?

    — Have you spent only a few months pursuing this goal, or has it been years? From the outset, how much time did you envision it would take to achieve the goal? Have you given it enough time? I knew that it would take 30-45 minutes to get to Krispy Kreme. I was willing to spend up to an hour and a half to get the donut.

  3. What are the negative consequences of going forward with the current plan?

    — Will you be investing more time and money into achieving the goal? Is it affecting other people around you? Is it preventing you from reaching other goals you have? When I set off to get my donut, I knew I had no appointments that morning and could take until lunchtime. Now, obviously I did not want it to take all morning, but even if it did it would have no direct negative impact.

  4. Are you making short-term decisions based on immediate pain reactions or long-term decisions based on research, data and experience?

    — Be mindful as to why and how you are making your decision to keep going or to turn around. If you are making the decision because of the immediate pain you are in and are disregarding the huge reward at the end to eliminate the current pain, you may want to step back and see if there is any other way (short of turning around) to minimize the pain (i.e. if you are short on money, how can you generate it otherwise or cut expenses). As they say, “No pain, no gain.” Remember, short-term pain is worth pushing through. Chronic pain calls for treatment (changing the plans).

  5. If you turn around, will you always regret that you didn’t go forward?

    — You live with your success, your failures and your decisions. How will this decision affect you? Will it roll off your back because tomorrow is another day, another plan, another opportunity, or will it sit inside you, eating at you and tainting everything else you do? In my decision to turn around the first time, I was still in pursuit of my donut dream. I was not going to give up until I had it. I would have driven that road, making unsafe u-turn after u-turn, until I had it in my watering mouth.

However, I recently made a decision for one of my businesses where I said to myself, “I will invest a certain amount of money for the next two months. If this does not return the results I want, I will not invest any more money or time into it.” Well, those months were September and October of this year and as of October 31, I will be satisfied with my decision to walk away and follow a different road to success. (To be clear, the business is not my law firm or Lawyers With Purpose).

Where are you on your road? Are you just enjoying the scenery without knowing or caring where you end up? Do you need to turn around or keep going to achieve the success you seek?

As for me, now that I have had my donut I will be pursuing other goals.

Victoria L. Collier is a Veteran and Certified Elder Law Attorney, Fellow of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, Co-Founder of Lawyers With Purpose LLC, and author of “47 Secret Veterans’ Benefits for Seniors—Benefits You Have Earned … but Don’t Know About.”