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Compassion Fatigue

May 30, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Team Building

“You have a clean slate every day you wake up. You have a chance every single morning to make that change and be the person you want to be. You just have to decide to do it. Decide today’s the day. Say it; this is going to be my day.” ~ Brendon Burchard 

The emotional, physical and financial needs of our world can be undoubtedly overwhelming. As we become more and more comfortable with the vision, design and signing meetings, we then begin to move fully into and embrace the counseling side of serving in the estate and elder law industry. With this comes the journey of compassion:

We will feel for people in pain – even people we don’t know personally.
We will want people to be encouraged and hopeful – even people we don’t know personally.
We will seek to help people practically – even people we don’t know personally.

Beyond the "conference room," you will begin to find that you are naturally feeling this and wanting to do it. Once you gain knowledge in the tools, competency in the legal technical and confidence in your team, you will begin to lead and guide from a place of compassion. And this is how you attract people to your office, without even trying. Your ability to actively listen and solve problems is utterly absent from your competition. And everyone sees it. So your calendar begins to fill up with potential money appointments: Initial contacts increase (yay!), vision meetings increase (yay x2!), your hire rate increases (yay x3!).

But if there is not time in your calendar to “empty your backpack” of all compassion – stories, grief, troubles and struggles that you get to solve all day (not to mention the employees waiting at your door in-between all these fantastic meetings) – you will be burdened. Imagine a backpack filled with the heaviest cinderblocks you can imagine. At some point, you have to put the backpack down or else you’ll break your back. That's compassion fatigue.

In an unrelenting world of constant giving and solving, filled with back-to-back appointments and very little breathing space, it eventually becomes impossible to “muscle through” week in and week out. Then we start to see our initial/vision and hire rates decrease because that bountiful compassion has turned into resentment and frustration. And we might tell ourselves, “The lucky streak has ended,” but as humans we are just not conditioned to continue at that pace without operating at a deficit.

We have to refill our tireless giving “compassion account.” When your reserves are in deficit, you can’t truly give. Here are some quick suggestions for how to refuel your compassion account, “empty your backpack” and let go of all the emotional stuff you picked up throughout the day. This should take no more than five minutes at the end of each day to allow you to hit the ground running the next day with a full account:

Get a journal or notebook and keep it at your bedside.
At the end of your day, download all the stories you picked up from the day: prospective clients, existing clients, referral sources, client complaints, employee issues, even whatever may have hit you personally at home, because all compassion and heartache are created equal.
Jot down the NAME (Smith case, Sally the receptionist, my son Timmy.)
What the story/situation was. Keep it simple and don’t make it into a dissertation. Just brain dump the emotionality of what occurred. This part is important: Connect and dump the emotional compassion that occurred in order for you to truly unload the backpack.
What did you provide in regards to coaching, conflict resolution, counseling, etc. to provide value? It is equally important for you to get the WIN in it, to know you were part of holding a safe space for X to have a breakthrough in that moment with the resources you had.
Then detach and let it go, and write down, “My job is not to rescue. My expertise in helping X was more than enough for today. I am not responsible for the circumstance, only for coaching the person. This is no longer mine to carry.”
Celebrate the victories and share them with the team. Acknowledge what you have done as a huge accomplishment. Give yourself kudos – don’t minimize what you’ve done.
Pretend you’re a duck! When you are in a leadership role – and you are as an entrepreneur and intrapreneur – you will take hits. You've got to let them roll off your skin, just like a duck lets water roll off its feathers. Work this muscle until you see the results.
Build “pause” time in your calendar to reframe yourself between appointments. Use that time to do something for yourself, to make deposits into your compassion account. Doing this will allow you to always “show up” genuine and prepared, with your clients feeling heard and you feeling confident.

You will begin to notice how much compassion was actually turning to clenching for your clients, which is a circumstance that creates undue pressure on us to “deliver.” Yes, you have to deliver on your promises (planning, etc.), but when the delivery becomes all about the person's circumstance vs. about the person, which we all do day in and day out, that blocks the unpacking of the backpack to eliminate the compassion fatigue.

If your interested in joining us in Chicago, book your flights now! There are still just a few seats left so register today and be in the room to experience what the Practice With Purpose Program is about and what we have to offer.

Molly L. Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of Don’t Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work with a Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process.

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The Rules of Engagement

May 23, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Systems & Processes Team Building

At Lawyers with Purpose we feel very passionately about our unrelenting standards around consistently operating by our Rules of Engagement. On our weekly CCI call this week, we discussed how easily the expectations set within the Rules of Engagement can be pushed aside in the day-to-day of our “busy” world. How we give each other permission to let each other off the hook with no operation by set standard.

It's those times that we allow The Rules of Engagement to be part of our consistent daily practice that there is very rarely ever a need for sporadic reactive “sit downs” about to what's going on with X (team, projects, cash flow etc.). And in our experience the work that has to go into repairing, redirecting and/or retooling doesn’t have to occur this way. If you make it part of your standards, the consistency in all facets of your business begin to happen.

Your Rules of Engagement should, in essence, say that as a team we agree to operate under the following rules – day in and day out – to allow us to grow and eliminate any unnecessary dividedness.

SAMPLE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

1. To refrain from holding on to “stories and stuff” – always clarify and verify what is being ask of you and always operate with honest while respectful mentality; (A) If you ask me, I will tell you; (B) If I ask you – it’s because I “need” to know to be sure my needs are being met

2. Lead and operate every meeting with:

Declaration of the purpose and intended outcome
Printed Agenda with the team leader running
Next specific actions and deadlinesEvery person is absolutely required to hold each other accountable and be accountable for their our own actions

3. Every person is absolutely required to hold each other accountable and to be accountable for their own actions.

4. EVERYTHING is ALWAYS “on the table” with a “CAN DO” approach

5. We agree to always engage in Healthy Conflict to solve real problems quickly and to put critical topics on the table for discussion. If there is something that someone is doing and behavior that is a constant roadblock YOU need to conduct a STOP and identify the behavior that is occurring in that moment so we can identify and breakthrough.

6. We agree to refrain from gossip. Do not say something out loud that you would not say if you knew it was to be repeated. If a statement starts with “Don’t tell….” It’s gossip

7. We agree as a team to always be willing to FAIL FORWARD. United we stand, divided we fall.

If you're interested in learning more about how Lawyers With Purpose could support your estate planning / elder law practice, please join us in Chicago June 9th – 11th for our Asset Protection, Medicaid & VA Practice With Purpose Program. Register today as we are filling fast. The hotel is almost sold out so grab your seat today!

Molly Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers With Purpose, LLC, and author of Don't Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work With A Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process

We’ve Updated The Five Key Focusers

May 19, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Systems & Processes

Four years ago I had never heard of Lawyers With Purpose and knew nothing about the LWP processes. Of course I had worked a number of years in the legal field, and had developed systems and processes in each position I had held, but I had never seen anything like the Initial Contact Focuser (ICF).

What a ridiculously simple idea! How come I never thought of it?

Like so many gemstones in the rough, I didn’t immediately see the depth of its value. I was fairly easily persuaded that collecting the data and documenting it made sense. I simply put one on a clipboard behind the phone, and grabbed it when a first-time caller phoned, or someone walked in off the street. But it wasn’t until I had been collecting that data for several months, and transitioned to an Excel spreadsheet that I started to really “get it.”

Then I got excited.

Just for kicks, I added a few columns into my spreadsheet that are now incorporated into the new Initial Contact Focuser on the LWP website. By using the sort and filter functions, I was able to see exactly what was causing our phone to ring. I was able to track the results of our RMS process, as well as each retail advertisement we had paid for.

Thinking about advertising on the scorecards at local golf clubs? Forget it! We never got a single referral from the half dozen courses that we advertised at. And I can tell you that with no hesitation because of the Initial Contact Focuser.

We were able to track ROI on retail marketing down to the cent, and maximize our marketing dollars.

Not only that, but I could immediately access referrals from synergy partners, tell you how many prospects were converted to clients, and give you the total dollar value of that referral relationship, as well as the average value of each referral.

We were able to more effectively measure the results of our involvement in community groups such as the Chamber of Commerce and the results of luncheon speaking engagements for the local Rotary Clubs.

OK, so maybe I’m preaching to the choir here. You probably have already “seen the light” long ago. But just in case your firm is not religiously documenting every new prospect on the Initial Contact Focuser, I just have to ask …. WHY NOT?

I hope you’ll check out the brand new Five Key Focusers on the member website. A great deal of work has gone into improving them … just for you!

Nedra Catale – Coaching, Consulting & Implementation

Making Your Strengths Work For You

May 15, 2014

by David Zumpano with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Systems & Processes Team Building

You’re probably familiar with the concept of IQ…maybe you’ve even taken a quick IQ test online or in the back of an in-flight magazine.

Many years ago, it was believed that IQ and intelligence were synonymous — that there is some sort of magic number that everyone has that can be determined by the right test, and that that number is a reflection of how intelligent they are. Even today, if you ask the average person on the street what intelligence is, the term “IQ” is going to come up more often than not.

Fortunately, these days we know better…as far back as 1983, a psychologist at Harvard named Howard Gardner proposed his theory of “multiple intelligences.” The idea behind Gardner’s framework is simple — namely that intelligence takes many different forms, and that everyone’s “intelligence” is actually a unique combination of their strengths across many different categories. Currently, Gardner has advocated for nine different forms of intelligence:

● Musical – Rhythmic and Harmonic

● Visual – Spatial

● Verbal – Linguistic

● Logical – Mathematical

● Bodily – Kinesthetic

● Interpersonal

● Intrapersonal

● Naturalistic

● Existential

When you look at the list above, it’s not difficult to come up with examples of what Gardner was talking about — history is full of people who achieved at the highest levels in their field, independent of what they may have scored on a traditional IQ test.

IQ wasn’t related to Beethoven’s successes…it was his musical intelligence. Michael Jordan’s IQ had nothing to do with his ability to drive the lane or hit a jump shot — but he absolutely is gifted in the realm of bodily-kinesthetic intelligence. Margaret Thatcher would likely have scored well on a traditional IQ test, but you can also make the case that it was her inter- and intra-personal intelligence that helped her ascend to the top of her field.

So by now you might be wondering why I’m talking about intelligence here. It’s a fair question, and the answer is actually pretty simple…

When you think about the examples I’ve given above, and the others that surely came to your mind as you read through Gardner’s list, what do they have in common? They all benefited from an extraordinary fit between their gifts and the endeavors they chose to pursue.

In my law firm, we’ve taken this philosophy to heart – working in our strengths (ie., whose doing what to reach goal).

So often you’ve heard me discuss the idea of systems, and how having the right system in place makes all the difference in your practice. Well, an important component in that is making sure that the people — the most important part of any business system — are a good fit with the responsibilities they have.

Take a minute now and think about your team — who is particularly gifted verbally? They have a way with words — are they getting the opportunity to leverage that talent for the benefit of your whole firm? What about your analytical thinkers? Are they getting the opportunity to solve problems and help things run more smoothly on a day-to-day basis?

Next month, LWP is hosting a three day event in Chicago where we’ll be talking systems automation and how you can leverage the right tools, systems, and the natural talents of your staff to exceed your revenue goals! And the beauty is your freed up to focus on the people (i.e. meeting with clients and power partners).

The next Practice with Purpose Program is June 9-11. There will not be another one until October. Yikes, that’s closer to “year end” than “New Year”.

We’ll provide you with the road map — we’ll teach you how you can use your natural gifts (and those of your team) to get more done at the office and get more time at home as well!

That doesn’t meant that it’s going to be easy, though…one of the benefits of attending an event like this with some of your most successful and forward-thinking peers from around the country is that we're going to challenge you to break through the roadblocks you’re currently facing…to focus on what's really important in your practice…and to eliminate the distractions that take away from your time and focus.

That's our promise to you…that you'll return home with a clear vision for taking your practice to the next level. Taking the all-important first step is up to you – click here to register now. We fully expect that the program will sell out, and you don't want to be left without a seat!

David J. Zumpano, Esq, CPA, Co-founder Lawyers With Purpose, Founder and Senior Partner of Estate Planning Law Center

Congratulations to Michele Ungvarsky, LWP Member Of The Month!

May 7, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Legal Technical

What is the greatest success you've had since joining LWP™?

I have been able to completely revamp my practice from litigation to Estate Planning with the tools, plans, mentoring, and software provided by LWP™. Looking back over the past 14 months, I know I would not be where I am if I had to design a new practice by myself.

What is your favorite LWP™ tool?

This changes periodically and it's hard to pick one "tool." Right now I am loving the Asset Protection Analysis. There is information any type of Kolbe personality can understand and use. I will admit it took me a while before I completely understood it and was not intimidated by it, but it has been a real plus for showing my clients what I can do for them.

How has being part of LWP™ impacted your team and your practice?

The one-on-one mentoring for legal-technical and systems can't be beat. My assistant and I have been challenged continuously to develop and improve our system. Just when we want to sit back and coast, we are prodded into action.

Congratulations Michele. We're honored to have you as a member!

If you are interested in learing more about become a Lawyers With Purpose member, click here at take a look at what we are offering at our Asset Protection, Medicaid & VA Practice With Purpose Program, June 9-11 in Chicago. Register now!

Roslyn Drotar – Coaching, Consulting & Implementation, Lawyers With Purpose

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Controlled Growth

April 14, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Systems & Processes Team Building

Sometimes just showing up is more than enough. There’s a quote that says, “90% of life is showing up.” I couldn’t agree more. Our last LWP Practice Enhancement Retreat brought home a powerful message: The Power of Community. The groundswell of last February's retreat was interest in “controlled growth.” I have personally attended all 10 of our Practice Enhancement Retreats, and February's was life-changing and practice-changing for over 150 estate planning professionals from across the nation. We were sharing values and goals with other like-minded entrepreneurs, law students, paralegals, client service coordinators, marketing coordinators – all of these different roles joined together to create a plan where there is controlled growth.

The ongoing conversation about controlled growth played a big role in the success firms are seeing today, a little over two months since the last retreat. Some of the goals set in February have been met, some are on course to be met and some simply are not – and will not. Does that make those unmet goals a miserable failure? I would say no, quite the opposite. Those firms showed up and put pen to paper to create a path and a plan, and that alone is a success. The fact that they have the guidance system to know when to embark on the goal journey, and when it doesn’t necessarily fit and/or is no longer important, is success enough. They chose short-term pain over long-term pain and gave themselves permission to re-choose in real time.

Being there means you hear things from other members – we call them your Board of Directors – like “You have to slow down and manage that growth,” or “You just need the faith. It will work if you do X, Y and Z because we have a tried, tested and proven track record.” It means you can share what has worked and what hasn’t. One of our members declared in the room that he would be launching consistent workshops starting in a few months. His Board of Directors responded, “You can’t wait! You’ve got to do it now to leverage your time!”

These conversations with others support you with controlled and consistent growth. Most people are afraid of growth and success. It’s scary. They don’t know if they are doing it right. They are afraid they are going to blow up what is working right now. Community can be the antidote for those fears.

The 150 folks leaving Orlando after retreat week were on a high – but we are seeing now that people are beginning to gap out. June is just around the corner, and they’ll be back in the room for the next Practice Enhancement Retreat. That will bring accountability. Collaboration. Meeting with their Board of Directors. And there will be over 12 breakout sessions geared toward legal technical, practice efficiency, confidence building, creating a financial and client advisory board, a complete system for an annual client maintenance program and much, much more.

It’s hard to believe there are two short months remaining until the June Practice Enhancement Retreat. After the second week of June, most people start summer “break.” And next thing you know, Labor Day turns the corner and we are fast and furious into the holidays and the year-end wrap-up. Where does the time GO??! We were going to do X, Y and possibly Z, but…….

Sometimes we talk – but we don’t plan. Sometimes we plan, but we don’t pick the path. If every business owner were to achieve everything they’ve declared they’re going to do, we would have a bazillion fulfilled entrepreneurs, team and clients. Right about now some folks may have seven valid reasons why they are going to take a break from this retreat and join the next one so they can catch up on what they said they were going to do in February. They should consider the words of Victor Hugo, the author of “Les Misérables” and “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” who said:

“He who every morning plans the transaction of the day and follows out that plan, carries a thread that will guide him through the maze of the most busy life. But where no plan is laid, where the disposal of time is surrendered merely to the chance of incidence, chaos will soon reign.”

The way to avoid chaos and lack in your life and in the lives of those you serve is to plan your work, work your plan, revise your plan, repeat cycle. And that is how you create controlled growth. Most of us just don’t know how to do it on our own. Reserve your seat for your firm at the June Tri-Annual Retreat now. In the words of Yoda, “Do or do not. There is no Try.”

If you not a member and are interested in experiencing what Lawyers With Purpose has to offer, join us at our Practice With Purpose program June 9th, 10th & 11th. But don't hesitate – register today, spots are filling up fast! We'll see you there!

Why I’m Here

April 1, 2014

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Team Building

Every Friday we have a meeting with all members of our team. We start the meeting with personal wins, professional wins and one thank you to someone you would like to acknowledge for the week (doesn't have to be someone on the team/in the room). This week the head of our Member Services Department, Angela, shared her personal win, which was also her professional win. And, I have to say, for so many reasons, it turned into a win for many of us.

Here's what Angela excitedly shared: “My win this week was our weekly CCI Meeting. Marci and Molly coaching to the entire CCI team helped me personally on so many levels. I was struggling with many things in my life, and after that call I walked away with not only a whole new perspective but excitement about how I could turn some things that were not working into a win. I never really understood why you had me sitting in these various meetings that didn’t necessarily pertain to my direct job. Now I get it, WOW!”

Our teams are often unclear as to why they are attending many of the meetings we have them in. Sometimes we hear those exact words – “Why am I here, what am I doing sitting in on this meeting, why do I need to be sitting in on this meeting.” Or, if we are paying close attention, we “hear” it visually with the eye rolling, disengagement, lack of note taking, lack of clarifying questions and/or input, that they have no idea why they are there.

Angela’s win this week reminded me that we all should take a few seconds and clarify our intention for having our team sit in on certain meetings, teleconferences or whatever we are trying to enroll them in. A simple “locker room huddle” prior to the event:

In prep: “The reason I want you to attend is to ______ (observe or plan to propose something afterwards)”;
During: “And what I expect to you to do during the meeting is ______ (take notes, just be present, present x afterwards)”;
After the event: “And I would like you to or expect for you and I to _____ ( spend 10 minutes immediately after to debrief, schedule a one-hour strategy meeting after maybe four or five weeks of these calls so you can get as much info as possible, and then we can see where you stand in your current role.

Angela’s “simple” win was so very powerful, as it reminded me to let people know the intentions of an invite vs. allowing them to flounder in “why am I here?” Angela is now not only excited for next week's CCI Meeting but also definitely sees the endless opportunities available for her personally. But if we didn’t have the weekly team meeting “WINS” format, I'm not certain we would have know what an impact it made on the member services team, and we would also have missed a great reminder to answer the question of “why am I here” prior to each meeting.

If you are not having weekly team meetings and would like a suggested agenda, please email me at mhall@lawyerswithpurpose.com to receive a complimentary agenda.

Thank You

November 21, 2012

by Lawyers With Purpose with No Comment Coaching & Implementation Legal Marketing

Well its Wednesday and I survived all the 2×4’s from being out of the office last week at the Annual Practice Enhancement Retreat – in fact my wood chipper was ready and I am merrily preparing for a few down days to share with my family this Thanksgiving weekend. So a quick note to let you know how thankful I am for you sharing time with us last week. WOW!! Is all I can say.

Susan and Jeff rocked our world on Wednesday showing us the practical approach to implement the RMS™ and CES™ (Client Enrollment System) - And who can forget Thursday when Molly and I led you to create your individual and firm time templates to ensure you had the proper “Blue” “Green” and “Yellow” time to succeed in 2013 – its time to add some color to your life! Then Friday when Candy led us in a “First Among Equals” conversation to set our rules of engagement with our team members, and our 2013 Action plan – but remember, none if it is worthwhile without YOU and your commitment.

Thank you for who you are and your commitments to your teams and the LWP/MPS Communities! – Many Blessings this Thanksgiving to you and your family — Dave